How to Recognize Online Grooming

Sometimes the very reason kids and teens blog and spend time on social-networking sites is to “meet new friends.” So it’s not always easy for them to tell when “new friends” have bad intentions, and research has shown that as much as 14% of kids receive unwanted sexual solicitations online.


“Grooming” is the way sexual predators get from bad intentions to sexual exploitation. Basically, grooming is manipulation. It’s the process pedophiles use to get young people they target online to meet with them  offline, the simple goal being sex.


Sometimes it involves flattery, sometimes sympathy, other times offers of gifts, money, or modeling jobs. It can also involve all of the above over extended periods of time. That’s why it’s called “grooming.” Experts say the short-term goal of these manipulators is for the victim to feel loved or just comfortable enough to want to meet them in person, and these people know that sometimes takes time. That’s ok, they’d say, because groomers tend to have a lot of patience, and they also tend to “work” a number of targets at once, telling all of them that they are “the only one for me.” You can imagine how well that can work with kids seeking sympathy, support, or validation online.


That’s about as general as we can get, because grooming is carefully individualized. Groomers design what they say as they go along, tailoring their flattery or offers as they learn about the victim.



Parents and caregivers should talk to their kids about these tactics, and kids should know to inform their parents or caregivers if they ever encounter them. Being aware of the signs of online grooming - and the fact that groomers are self-taught experts in 
1) getting kids to reveal their needs and desires and
2) tailoring messages to those interests - can go a long way toward protecting kids from sexual exploitation online. 


It’s also a great exercise in critical thinking, the best safeguard and “fi lter” a young Internet user can have.



Here are some tactics kids can watch out for

Internet Security Tips to Stay Away from Web Threats

The Basics of Web Threats 

Web threats are malicious software programs such as spyware, adware, trojan horse programs, bots, viruses, or worms, etc. that are installed on your computer without your knowledge or permission. These programs utilize the Web to spread, hide, update themselves and send stolen data back to criminals. They can also be combined to do the crime — for example, a trojan can download spyware or a worm can be used to infect your computer with a bot.

Internet security tips to keep your computer and your family safe from web threats.


General Security Tips:

• Always keep your security software working and up-to-date. Especially if you use a laptop on unprotected wireless networks in airports, cafes and 
• other locations.
• Install products and solutions that protect you whether you’re surfi ng the Internet or downloading fi les directly to your computer. Ensure that Web 
• protection software extends beyond email protection to encompass peer-to-peer networks and the entire range of home computing applications, 
  and can provide warnings about traffi c that is incoming and outgoing from your computer in real-time.
• Employ the latest technologies, such as Web reputation, which can measure the trustworthiness and safety of a Website before you visit it. Use 
• Web reputation technology combined with existing URL fi ltering and content scanning technologies.
• Use the latest Web browser version and install security patches when available. Use a web browser that has a no-script plug-in.
• Check with your Internet Service Provider to see what kind of protection is offered by their network.
• If you use the Microsoft Windows operating system, enable the “Automatic Update” feature and apply new updates as soon as they are available.
• Always install, update, and maintain fi rewalls and intrusion detection software, including those that provide malware/spyware security.

For Email:

• Always make sure you are using an anti-spam product for each email address you have.
• Beware of unexpected or strange-looking emails, regardless of who the sender is. Never open attachments or click on links in these emails.
• Report suspicious emails to the appropriate authorities.
• If you trust the sender of the email, scan their email attachments with a security solution before opening them. If they send you a URL and it 
  is short enough, type the URL in your web browser instead of clicking on it from the email.
• Be alert when receiving emails that request account details (fi nancial institutions almost never request financial details in emails).
• Never email fi nancial information to anyone.

For web surfing and downloading online programs :

• Use a Web reputation service to make sure the website you are going to visit is safe from web threats.
• Beware of Web pages that require software installation. Scan all programs downloaded from the Internet with an up-to-date security solution.
• Always read the End User License Agreement and cancel the installation process if other “programs” are going to be installed in addition to 
  the desired program.
  
  
• Do not provide personal information to unsolicited requests for information. Only provide personal information on sites that display a lock icon 
  at the bottom of your browser.
  
  

Social Networking Guideline for Young People

Be Prepared

Parents, teachers, and others who care for young people who are socially active online should fi rst set reasonable expectations.

Forbidding young people to use social networking sites may force them to go “underground” and fi nd other avenues (e.g. library computers, mobile phones, friends’ computers) to continue their social life online. A positive alternative is to teach them how to think critically about what they are seeing, reading, hearing and sharing online.

Some guidelines for young people to follow when they are using social networking sites, chat rooms, blogs, or message boards:

1. Use a nick name or code name.

It is best not to use your real name or to use names that might be sexually suggestive or offensive to others in any way. This can help reduce the likelihood of your being harassed online.

2. Set your profiles to private.

Social networking sites can be a great tool for connecting with others. A good way to stay safe using these services is to set your profile to private – this way only people you invite can see what you post.

3. Keep personal information to yourself.

It is best not to share your address, phone number or other personal information online, with strangers. Don’t reveal your actual location or when and where you plan to be somewhere.

4. Think about what you post.

Be cautious about sharing provocative photos or intimate details online, even with people you know or even in a private email or text conversation. The information or conversation could be copied and made public by anyone you share it with - and tough to get removed. 

Remember: what you say in a chat room or instant messaging session is live - you cannot take it back or delete it later.

5. Keep your security software up-to-date.

Social networking sites are very popular. Because there are so many people using them, cyber criminals have been known to use stealthy tactics in order to infect the computers of people who use them.

6. Read between the “lines.”

It may be fun to meet new people online for friendship or romance, but be aware that, while some people are nice, others act nice because they are trying to get something. Flattering or supportive messages may be more about manipulation than friendship or romance.

7. Avoid in-person meetings.

The only way someone can physically harm you is if you’re both in the same location, so – to be 100% safe – don’t meet them in person. If you really have to get together with someone you “met” online, don’t go alone. Have the meeting in a public place, tell a parent or some other solid backup, and bring some friends along.

8. Be nice online.

Treat people the way you’d want to be treated. Harassing or bullying anyone online, if considered threatening, can also be considered a criminal offense.

9. Think about how you respond.

If someone says or does something that makes you uncomfortable, block them and don’t respond. If they continue, let your parents or another adult know. If the messages are threatening in any way, save the messages and tell your parents as this may be considered a criminal offense.

10. Be smart when using a cell phone.

All the same tips apply with phones as with computers. Except phones are with you wherever you are, often away from home and your usual support systems. Be careful who you give your number to and how you use GPS and other technologies that can pinpoint your physical location.

Safety Tips for Social Networking

As a social medium, the Internet enables young people to stay in touch with friends when they are physically separated from them and sometimes to meet new people who share their interests. Social networking sites, chat rooms, message boards, and blogs are some of the many ways this is possible on the Internet.

Know the Risks

If a young person is socially active on the Internet,he or she is very likely managing at least one personal profi le on one or more social-networking sites which require or allow them to publicly divulge something about themselves. While this ability is not inherently bad, there may be people familiar or unfamiliar to them who could take advantage of this.

Unwanted contact

Behaviors such as online grooming (technique used by a sexual predator to convince an underage person to have relations with them offl ine) and cyberbullying (online harassment of classmates or peers) are some examples of unwanted online contact that parents and care-givers should understand and help young people recognize and act on if they ever experience it. In both cases, the fi rst and best response is to encourage kids not to respond to such messages and to alert their parents so they can fi gure out the next steps together. It’s also a good idea not to delete the messages in case they later need to be used as evidence.

Aggressive commercialism

In addition to unwanted contact, parents and caregivers should be mindful of online messages - sometimes legitimate, sometimes malicious - that entice young people to acquire products or services in exchange for information or money. It is important to be aware of how this type of commercialism is delivered, what is being offered, and what young people may do as a result of it. Vendors are using more creative ways to promote their goods and embed their marketing messages, which may make it diffi cult for a young person to differentiate between an advertisement and the content they are accessing or even interacting with (a technique called immersive advertising). Free offers and promotions for age-inappropriate products and services (dating services, gambling services, etc.) may also be compelling enough to a young person to enter personal information that could later be used by the advertiser to deliver continuous, intrusive advertising (as spam or pop-up advertising) or worse, perpetrate cybercrime (hack attacks, identity theft, etc.).

Covert web threats

Social networking sites are also an increasingly popular place for cybercriminals to trick people into divulging information or downloading software onto their computers for any number of uses. Their methods range from simple to elaborate.

Sometimes a young person will just see an advertisement or link to download seemingly harmless software that they can use on their own social networking profi les, such as a widget, but which in fact has been infected with malicious software that gets downloaded along with the legitimate software. Some applications that run on social networking sites may encourage young people to complete a survey or provide information that might not be appropriate to share with others. Other times, a young person can be lured to see an “attractive” video but is told it is necessary to download a viewer in order to see it. While downloading a viewer is a normal action necessary to see videos online the viewer could be infected with other software that, once installed, can be used by the cyber criminal to steal information from the computer, spy on the activities of its owner, or other uses depending on the type of malicious software installed.

Behaviors toward others

The anonymity of the Internet can unfortunately encourage offl ine bad behavior to continue and be exacerbated online.Young people can be victims as well as participants in behaviors such as cyberbullying and harassment. It is important for them to know that information they post can be accessed by anyone virtually forever and can potentially be traced back to them, so it is best to be respectful of others, online or off. More severe comments, particularly those involving physical threats, may also be considered a criminal offense.